Real or Fake? #realfake

Yesterday Kate Bornstein started a new topic on Twitter, #realfake. I had an unusually lazy day and didn't catch the stream until it was under way. But as I understood it Kate's question was what makes us feel real and what makes us feel fake.

What have made me feel real lately is the realisation that I AM a woman. Not a man desperately wishing to be the woman on the outside as well as the inside. I don't know what have brought on this realization, suddenly it was just there. I guess it's a combination of my brain and body adjusting due to hormones, living 24/7 as a woman, and friends in RL and on the net accepting me as a woman.

An example: I had lunch the other day with Barbara Carrellas (a wonderful girl). After the lunch we walked around the Old Town here in Stockholm. And not once during our meanderings through the small streets did it occur to me that we were anything but two women chatting, sometimes giggling and in Barbara's case doggy patting. It was a fun, interesting and valuable experience that even further anchored me in my reality as a woman. Thanks Barbara!

What makes me feel fake? Whenever I have to pretend to be someone/something I'm not. This was very hurtful before I started living 24/7 as a woman. Pretending to be "one of the guys" was awful. I felt like I was just one big fat lie.

This was a very short, for me, post. But I'll be back again don't you fret. I have at least two posts bubbling away in the back of my mind.

 And here is a pic of me and Barbara at the venerable old resturant "Stortorgskällaren". She had sole, I had pork and onion sauce.

Love, hugs, kisses and lashes till next time

Caisa